Six behaviors that lead to the fast fading of passion and interest in a relationship as stated by the psychology
“Today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: ’a feeling of orientation, both in the world as well as in time and memory’, Perel writes in the book Mating in Captivity.
“At the same time, we do not only demand our committed relationships to be romantic, but also sexually and emotionally satisfying.”
Good point.
When you get into a relationship with someone, you’ve got to learn how to reconcile different parts of each other into a cohesive whole: you and your partner should be friends, two people sharing the same home or apartment, lovers and homeowners or parents to your children, for instance.
And that, of course, is not always a simple thing to do.
However, if there’s one thing that you can do today to boost your relationship, it is to drop these 6 bad habits that turn your romantic love into dust.
Ready?
Let’s jump right in!
1) The people of the network don’t assume everything from one another
Based on one of the typical flaws which couples have, let’s begin with the lack of appreciation, which being at the roots of a relationship breakdown.
Why?
Because appreciation is how you tell your lover that she or he’s valued for all the love and hard work they put into the relationship.
It’s how you say, “I see you. And I owe you. ”
Love isn’t a thing that one can put into a relationship and expect not to get even the slightest appreciation in return, is it?
As soon as you thank your partner for being so sweet and loving, you’ll likely inspire them to give you more love, which is a virtuous cycle of caring.
Do not just read my point but do not take my word for it. As per the researches, the love ones bond and satisfaction level increases if the gratitude is expressed towards the loved ones.
Furthermore, ‘The couple who says thanks is a couple that spends time together’, ad the grateful person makes your partner’s intimate relationship and sex life better.
Therefore, with all those benefits in mind why are you still waiting? Say to your partner how much you appreciate them being in your life. Inform them a ‘Thank you’ size big, from you. And, the bond that is shared between two people will increase in a blink of an eye.
2) Regarding interacting, do not reject each other’s invitation to open communications.
So when the relationship expert John Gottman posed a simple question in his mind about what made the difference between relationship success and relationship disaster he embarked on an exciting and scientific exploration process that yielded impressive results.
Gottman explains that the level of how partners react to each other’s attempts to interact is the biggest factor that defines the success of a romantic relationship.
A bid for connection is simply an opportunity to attach to your partner. It’s when you see them and specifically call out to them, hug or touch them, ask them questions, or get any kind of positive interaction from them.
Now think and visualise you and your partner going for a walk on the street. Then you wake up and realize; oh there is a beautiful bird with those beautiful colors.
“Look!” you say taking its attention towards it.
If your partner does as you say and appreciates the bird’s beauty with you, turns the situation into an inside joke or otherwise responds positively to your bid for contact, then they are interested in connecting with you.
If they barely look and simply go on to talk more to themselves or remain glued to their phone, they have dismissed your attempt at connection thus decreasing the strength of your affectionate relationship by those little disengagements.
Other common bids for connection on Gottman’s list include:Other common bids for connection on Gottman’s list include:
greet: (minimal polite communication such as a request – “Could you take the trash out please?”)
Be interested in each other and have a positive attitude (“Hey, I wrote this poem, what do you think?”)
Speak with one another (“I wish to relate to you something that happened at the office today…”
Support one another lighten up (One day I was so busy and stressed..)
Be affectionate (“Would you like to hug me while I am reading?”)
All of them might appear as minor glitches on the bigger scheme of things, but when combined together, they tend to complicate the issue. When passion and excitement die, it is mostly in relationships where bids for connection are either not being met, or are being met in an ineffective manner.
3) Do not find yourself going round in circles.
Routines are good but there is one thing better than routine and it is routine so much that the bloom is off and there is no more date to gather experiences and become better as a couple.
This applies to your dynamic both inside and out of the bedroom as well included below are tips on how to do it.
Researching and planning for moments of fun and amusement helps to reinforce the bond between two people and develop a healthy outlook in the partnership, says couples counselor Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC.
This makes complete sense, of course, but far too many couples just ignore such advice and then proceed to see the spark between two lovers fade away.
You must both have the opportunity to see your partner in a new surrounding and to meet new challenges with him/her.
Stay stagnant, and that’s the end of it, or grow and continue to survive, adapt, and thrive. And stagnant almost always results in bored, unappreciated and – drum roll, please – the loss of passion and excitement.
